like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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