she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
