I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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