I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
