i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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