I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
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