ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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