What did we do last night that was yellow?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
