i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize