I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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