laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
