Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
