Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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