I'm so fucking centered right now
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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