i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Plan B is the new Plan A
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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