Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
