glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
