I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
