the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
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