Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
