She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
