i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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