Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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