K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize