worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize
