Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
