like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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