Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize