So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
In America we eat man semen.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
