She's JV to your varsity
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
