i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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