She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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