So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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