Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
