well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
