We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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