i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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