Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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