Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
