wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
