my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
