drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
