Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
