She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
