Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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