Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
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Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
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Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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