Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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