Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize