You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
