I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
