You're completely useless in the revolution.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It was confusing and full of hummus
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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