im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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