Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
