ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
