he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
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Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
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My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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