Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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