I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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