I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
