i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
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