We named our party play list daddy issues
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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