do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
