If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
