:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
