turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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