They should really pass out barf bags in church
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
