I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We need to get me chipped asap
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
