If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We need to get me chipped asap
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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