proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
