I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Randomize
