And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
try to milk me bitch
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