Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
