i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
