Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
