Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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